Dialogue at the beach
An: We are past that phase.
Bianca (in a soft inquisitive voice): What phase?
An: The phase where we endlessly talk about things, and complain about them.
Bianca: aha...I am not sure I am following you.
An: At least it is ended for me. I do not have that inner urge or feeling to talk about it. I don't have the need to change myself ...to be accepted, to be liked.
Bianca: I didn't know you had such an urge.
An: Of course I had it. Maybe I was not aware..it was deeply berried as something normal and every day. I hit the wall a thousand times before even realizing it was there.
I always knew there was something ... call it - wrong with me, I just never could pin down what exactly that was.
Bianca: And now you think you know?
An: Yes.
Bianca: Why would you think there was something wrong with you in the first place?
An: I felt unease...and everything happening around me that was so normal for everyone else, was such a big thing for me...for you guys it was how life was supposed to be...and for me it was a problem.
Bianca: I always loved you the way you are. I don´t understand what you are talking about. You are always my friend. When you are sad and when you are happy.
An: Even when I burst out at you and suddenly change my mood.
Bianca: Yes. I back off a little sometimes but I always love you.
An: You have known me for so long. You're still my friend.
Bianca: Yes.
An: hm...I think you are much nicer than me.
Bianca: No. I just do not overthink it like you. Sometimes the world can be the crazy one and you are the perfectly fine one. You are my perfectly fine one, my friend. It doesn't matter what happens around us. I know you.
An: So you do not think I am a bad friend?
Bianca: No. Do you think I am a bad friend?
An: No. I am angry at you sometimes.
Bianca: Why?
An: I am jealous
Bianca: At me? For what?
An: Hcommandaving it so easy with the world. You just say it is not me, it is them who are wrong. Do not even try to change it. You seem to be content.
Bianca: Now you are starting to annoy me. You look like a model. Your wish is a commend to any guy you wink at. You have self-inflicted problems. And you focus on me not being angry at this world. So spoiled.
An: I know. Still, this is how I feel.
Bianca: Not judging your feeling. Just stating some facts. Am I allowed to do that?
An: Don't be ironic now.
Bianca: So no irony allowed. But you nihilism and self-hate yes?
An: It is non of the named. I am just out of that phase.
Bianca: Yes, the phase. stop overthinking it. Let us just enjoy the day on the beach and leave all the difficult things for tomorrow.
An: Bianca.
Bianca: Yes?
An: Thank you.
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